Saturday, June 01, 2013

The History of Man in 45 Minutes or Less

Everybody talks about the beautiful beaches, the ancient ruins, the spectacle that is Knossos if they go to Crete, the southernmost Greek island. But, honest to the Greek gods, the most fabulous museum on that island, hands down, is the Homo Sapiens Village. This museum covers the entirety of the human (or at least male) experience in one place that you can experience from start to finish in about 45 minutes. This will leave you plenty of time of sit on a lovely Cretan beach or eat more delicious food or drink Retsina or Raki, because you’ll never need to visit another museum again.

Take a look at what you can learn at Homo Sapiens Village:

My sister, the anthropologist, says this progression is all wrong. Maybe it's the blood splashed all over it.

Shouldn't this should read “From the caves TO the moon”? Unless we evolved from caves on the moon—and I don’t think so.

Where’s the guitar or better yet, the alto sax (that’s what I play)?

From the cave on the far left--it's kinda hard to see, but trust me, it's there--to a sort of wigwamy thing to stone huts to a fancy room dedicated to the Greek gods to a Christian church to an entire section devoted to astronauts—Homo Cosmicus—they are called, the Village covers it ALL!

Is this the primordial guu?

Why can’t the Gods just watch us? They need cameras? Damn, distrusting Gods!

Jesus came ...

and landed on the ceiling of this tiny church

You thought I made that up, didn’t you?

"The First Woman" this sign is titled. And it's about Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman cosmonaut, who went into space in 1963. If there was no woman until 1963, then where did all the men come from?

This museum is some of the most fun we had in Crete. And it’s easy to get to. As the directions say, “Do not ask where you will find us! We are in the road that leads you to Lasithi's plateau, just 1 kilometer before you get there.“

Buy your tickets now. You don’t want to miss this!

1 comment:

Lesley said...

Laughing so hard. xx, Lesley